Is Love At First Sight...Bullcrap?

 As I was considering whether or not to write on Valentine's Day I came across an article that convinced me to give my two cents: 

 

from Daily Mail (UK)

Is loving someone for their money any worse than loving them for their looks?

 This article talks about how when someone says they had "love at first sight" it is typically based on the superficial outer facade that some of us may put on from time to time. 

A guy: Will talk about how much money he makes, flash his car keys buy drinks to show that he has money to burn and can be a good provider. 

A girl: Takes several minutes and more likely even hours to put herself together and look so much better than the condition you may find her at say 2:00 in the afternoon on a Sunday. 

A guy wants: To be with the best looking woman in the room, someone who looks to be healthy (typically has a fit body), happy (a perma-scowl doesn't even look that great on super-model)  and someone you'd be proud to show off to your friends and family. 

A girl wants: Someone who can be a provider or protector or both. A rich man will typically be able to use his resources to provide for the babies the woman might have if they stay together long term. 

Then I thought about how I met my wife. I was at the club and I was immediately drawn to how attractive she was and the fact that when I made eye contact with her she didn't immediately avert her gaze and begin running for another part of the building. 

She has told me on several occasions if I would've been wearing earrings (which I wore off & on at the time) that night she would have not looked twice at me. 

So what  do you think?

 Is love at first sight mainly bullcrap since it's based on a sometimes, if not always,  misleading first impression?

Has internet dating eliminated some of this confusion by allowing you to get to know the person first or do those doctored internet profile pics work to the same end?

I'm not the expert, but I know who is.....

..YOU are.

You are the ultimate expert

1) So many experts - It's no longer hard to find a "Guru" or an "Expert" on a subject. You trip over them in search results on google. Everything from relationship experts to money experts to experts on how to make a "killing" off AdWords. As if that's what we were put on this world to do "Make a Killing on AdWords". I happen to be of the minority opinion that a person's purpose in life has to be grander than simply manipulating code to make a website show on the first page of google - but, again, I'm the minority.

2) So many opinions - It's just as easy to find "experts" online that espouse the benefits getting out of debt - as it is to find experts who encourage readers to charge their credit cards to the maximum in order to obtain "easy" riches. For the record I'm more so a Dave Ramsey fan than a Kiyosaki fan but, I find it puzzling that Dave considers Kiyosaki a "friend" - when they promote exact opposite strategies to wealth. I suppose their are differences of opinions in the relationship, dieting and marketing spheres as well but, I'm not as attuned to those areas so who knows.

3) The opinion that counts is in fact yours - If you had to take a weekend and research all of the spectrum of opinions on a given subject, I would venture to guess you'd have several ways to skin a cat and no clear winner on the best way if the subject has any form of complexity. It's up to you to sift through all the varying opinions and decide on a final opinion that is in fact yours and only yours.

4) Truth/Falsehood - (the dichotomy) One thing that I'd say that speaks to me when trying to form an opinion is more or less a sense of feeling - Do I feel this person, subject-matter expert is speaking more TRUTH or more FALSEHOOD. The more truth I feel - the more I respect the expert, the more falsehood I feel - the less I respect said expert. TRUTH to me feels obvious and without effort while Falsehood seems forced or very elaborate when something very simple would suffice. TRUTH reminds me of my Pastor at the Church I attend as well as in some ways the Llama who presides over a Buddhist Temple I attend. FALSEHOOD reminds me of a "Guru" I had a chance meeting with while I was searching for a meditation group in a distant city. Instead of meditating, his followers sat around and asked him questions - as if he was an expert - although I had not yet acknowledged his supreme knowledge he had no problem commanding me to go fetch him a cup of water - as if I was his disciple ...or slave - I grabbed it, hoping I was in the presence of an enlightened being- it was only when he began preaching his philosophy that was essentially "winning arguments are a way to enlightenment" that I pulled out my Bulls**t button aka I recognized - to me at least he preached FALSEHOOD.

5) If I were an expert ( and I'm not) I'd give a single piece of advice. - Err on the side of LOVE. Listen to Jesus when he said

"Thou shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and all thy mind...[then added] Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself"

Or Buddha who taught 'Metta' or the practice of Lovingkindess

Even an upstanding secular humanist will tell you their belief falls apart if there's not an underlying principal of the Golden Rule to prevent anarchy, disorder and despair could be expected to follow.

Bottom line though, if all of what I've presented here tingles your B.S. button - then, in your opinion - I'm a promoter of falsehood and in a sense that proves my point again - you are the expert. YOU and only you know what makes sense and truth for your reality.

I sincerely hope that your reality holds you as the resident expert.