This Blog's Purpose
The purpose of this blog is help people improve their Mind, Body, Soul (relationships) and their Money.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
N.E.A.T. - Episode 5 - TECHIE - Mete of Barspot.tv
Mete Ozkazanc is a co-founder of Barspot.tv a website and mobile app that allows users to see what a bar or venues' scene looks like before they enter. Bar owners get the benefit of being listed on their website and allowing potential bar clients to check out their location virtually.
http://youtu.be/oL1GdTU62ik
N.E.A.T. is a VLOG started by me - D.R. White - in order to focus on my 3 passions - Entrepreneurship, Art and the Tech scene.
http://youtu.be/oL1GdTU62ik
N.E.A.T. is a VLOG started by me - D.R. White - in order to focus on my 3 passions - Entrepreneurship, Art and the Tech scene.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
(ToT) Thought on Thursday - "I'm the smartest man in the room"
In the past 48 hours - and maybe it was more recent than that - I've had the good fortune of being in the presence of the smartest man in the room....
First of all - no it wasn't me - but you already knew that.
I was at an event where the gentlemen who happened to be M.C.ing came off with an attitude that since he had achieved a certain level of wealth he had the right to assume that everyone in the room was ignorant.
He was there to tell the room how we could be happy in both our business and personal lives and then he proceeded to tell the audience things that I had learned through my own personal study either a few months or a few years ago.
This attitude was in stark contrast to that of other verified wealthy individuals I've had the divine pleasure of meeting over the past few weeks. These individuals' material and mental wealth far exceeded this character's claims of personal wealth.
When I was in the room with them they were constantly asking what I thought although they had wealth of knowledge beyond what I may ever hope to obtain.
When I was in the room with "the smartest man in the room" he kept spouting orders and asking questions that he [thankfully] had all the answers to.
I knew I was in the wrong room when he barked at an audience member for the mortal sin of whispering to (what I believed to be) his mother.
"That's how you control a room!" said the smartest man in the room after silencing the whisper. I'm not sure but, for some reason I felt a little dumber for being in the room in the first place.
Shortly after I left.
- If there's any lesson here I guess it would be this - never automatically assume you're smarter, more talented or better than those in the same room as you. Always assume there is someone smarter than you in the room and you'll save yourself the embarrassment of proving it for a fact.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
T4T - Flashback - How to start a business - internet or otherwise....
As I prepare for the switch to columnists next week - I thought I'd revisit a great (T4T) Tips for Tuesday - post that went up a few weeks back on starting a business.Internet or otherwise. I hope you enjoy:
I reached out to several Entrepreneurs - many of them Internet-based - and asked the following question:
"What’s the best advice you can give to someone looking to get started in business, internet-based or otherwise?"
This was quite possibly my most successful request. From Start-up founders to Start-up coaches to food topping innovators and a couple millionaires - As usual - I was amazed by the responses.
1)
"You must follow your passion. Starting a business is easy, but spending years of hard work to grow it and turn it into a success is incredibly difficult. So if you follow your passion, that will help immensely in getting through the ups and downs. And when I say follow your passion, I mean it in a broad sense. Having a business itself can be a passion. The competition of being a business owner and seeing something you make grow can be fascinating enough.
"The smartest thing anyone can do is get out of their realm of expertise and knowledge. Don't go with what you know. Get out of that. Go into markets blind and Find The Pain. If you make your business about finding pain, you can then put experts in place to solve that pain and take a cut. The smartest businessmen in the world do just this. MindValley, Appsumo, etc. We don't believe in being experts at subject matter at The Foundation. We believe in being the experts at finding pain, clearly defining it, and then putting experts in place to solve that pain.
12)
"The best advice would be to "START" I know that sounds a bit
simplistic, but I've worked with 100's of entrepreneurs and it's common
for each of them to be stuck with fear and uncertainty--What I all the
what if syndrome. What if I get a question that I can't answer--what if
my website isn't beautiful enough? What if I don't have the right
business card, what if I make a mistake? Truth is we all make
mistakes, find questions we can't answer etc. but getting paralyzed and
not doing something because of that fear only guarantees failure by
proxy. Go into your new business willing to make mistakes and just
start. Taking that first step is the hardest, but the rewards of
having your own business are limitless."
To learn more about Ms. Betterly - yadayadamarketing.com
14)
"After over 8 years of
working with freedom business beginners, seeing their struggles and
their success, we now know what it takes to successfully get a business
started. First is defining your Single Motivating Purpose, then you
need to choose the Audience you would wake up excited to help for at
least 10 years. Finally, you have to very specifically figure out the
solution you will give that audience, solving their #1 pain or
irrational desire. It's a simple formula, but it is what it takes to
start a highly successful Freedom Business."
Jeremy Frandsen is Co-Founder and Co-Host of the Internet Business Mastery* learn more about the podcast here: internetbusinessmastery.com
15)
*on a personal note I've been listening to Jeremy and his partner Jason since shortly after the launch of their podcast and it's an honor to feature them here.
I reached out to several Entrepreneurs - many of them Internet-based - and asked the following question:
"What’s the best advice you can give to someone looking to get started in business, internet-based or otherwise?"
This was quite possibly my most successful request. From Start-up founders to Start-up coaches to food topping innovators and a couple millionaires - As usual - I was amazed by the responses.
1)
Alex Genadinik
Founder
Problemio
"You must follow your passion. Starting a business is easy, but spending years of hard work to grow it and turn it into a success is incredibly difficult. So if you follow your passion, that will help immensely in getting through the ups and downs. And when I say follow your passion, I mean it in a broad sense. Having a business itself can be a passion. The competition of being a business owner and seeing something you make grow can be fascinating enough.
And once you are following your passion, be very
disciplined and hard working. Get mentorship when you can, and don't try
to do things alone. And be ready to work harder than you've ever worked
before, and then some! "
To learn more please visit Mr. Genadinik's site: problemio.com
To learn more please visit Mr. Genadinik's site: problemio.com
2)
David Jackson
Host
School of Podcasting
"My advice would be to pick a date on the calendar to launch. Figure out
what you need to do and work backward. Then you can figure out what you
need to do each day to follow the path to your launch. In the end you
need to START. You can't get better at something until you START doing
it. So many people get paralysis by analysis. They want things to be
perfect before launching. Unfortunately, they never launch because they
just need "one more thing." Realize that if you aim for perfect and you
miss, you will more than likely land on "very good." Start. Start.
Start!"
To learn more about Mr. Jackson - please check out his site: schoolofpodcasting.com
To learn more about Mr. Jackson - please check out his site: schoolofpodcasting.com
3)
Lajuan Stoxstill-Diggs
Author/Founder of
Craigslist Hustle
Craigslist Hustle
"My situation is unique in that I never
intended to start a business. I was laid off by my employer and had a family to
feed, so I was looking for ways to make extra income. I was motivated from the
beginning to keep a roof over my family’s head and food on the table and that
is what helped me get started in business. I suggest taking time to find a
situation that motivates you so that you have the initial push to move forward.
It could be you’re tired of the long work hours and not seeing your family or
the low pay on your current job. Whatever is needed to motivate you in the
beginning use it and remind yourself daily of this situation so you can stay
motivated. Once you have decided what business venture you would like to pursue
I would suggest finding people in the same or similar field who you can grow to
trust and learn from. This will help eliminate
a lot of pitfalls that may come in starting a business. If you do not have
anyone personally then I suggest reading books that will accomplish the same
purpose. The internet is full of resources
from successful business men and women who have poured out years of wisdom into
EBooks and paperback books.
When it comes to starting an internet based business and you are low on finances, then I suggest you invest time learning from others and doing it yourself. When I wrote and self published my book The Craigslist Hustle I didn’t have a clue as to what was needed to get it out into the market place. So, I spent a lot of time on Google and YouTube learning from other self published authors, as well as learning how to use Photoshop and other computer programs so I could bring the EBook to the marketplace. Once the EBook became a success, I went back and learned what was needed to bring the book to print. If your business offers a service or product and you are short on time, then I suggest you barter in exchange for someone else doing the things you are not familiar with in the beginning to get your business off the ground. Craigslist is a great place to find talented graphic designers, publishers, lawyers, and others who would be willing to barter their services in exchange for your services or product. I hope this has motivated you the reader to pursue that business that you’ve always wanted to pursue and I look forward to reading your success story in the near future!"
To learn more please check out his site: mrcraigslisthustle.com
4)
"1. Be financially prepared. Starting a business is a very daunting task as many people find it difficult to take that leap of faith in leaving a secure job with benefits for one that is truly unknown. While some companies can grow slowly as a "second job," others will require "all-in" efforts. If you don't have complete control of your financial life before you decide to start your business, you will find that you're not able to throw your whole self into your new business. Be financially prepared to not take a salary for a few years if needed and know what impact that will have on your life. Be prepared to not take those vacations or enjoy those weekends with family. Remember, greatness does not come without sacrifice and while most people will never understand the feeling that sort of sacrifice, it's the entrepreneur that loves their life the most because, regardless of those sacrifices, they wake up every day to make this one better than the last in growing their business.
2. Be the jack of all trades. One thing I've been very proud of is the fact that I can write press releases, balance the books, update our web site, handle logistics of orders, be active on social media and pitch to retailers all in one day. Many people consider themselves good at a few things but weak in others. If you're starting out on your own and cannot be reliant on support from others in areas where you are weak, you're at a huge disadvantage. Even if you can delegate later, you have to know your business inside and out and perform all tasks associated within. In the beginning, you'll probably have to do everything on your own anyway. You'll find that as you grow your business, you'll be met at some point with empty promises from people who say they will, but ultimately won't…then it becomes yours to fix. Never say you "can't" do something because you're not good at it. Simply learn how to do it and do it. There is no excuse for you not being able to perform any task associated with growing your business."
To learn more about Ms. Busha's secret sauce - please check out: slawsa.com
5)
6)
"Simply stay focused on building a great product first. Then properly marketing that product. Then building the team to grow. In that order exactly, otherwise, failure looms".
7)
"Live for the no. Learn why. Move on. If you're going to think about quitting every time you get turned down you're never going to make it. And for every no you get, you're closer to the most fulfilling and wonderful yes yet."
To learn more about Ms. Schmittauer please visit: savvysexysocial.com
8)
9)
"Self care is my #1 tip for Entrepreneurs who want to rock their business like they really mean it. You and your needs are the priority - NOT the business, NOT the soon-to-be-clients. YOU are the priority. Your body is the only container you’ve got for all that creative juice.
We’ve become masters at ignoring what matters most. Important things like feelings, and the physical needs of our very own bodies. We blow ourselves off usually because we feel stressed and pressed. Because there are Really Important Things you need to do and you don’t have time. I know. I hear this a lot from Awkwardpreneurs (read, entrepreneurs who are NOT rocking it like they mean it).
When it comes to starting an internet based business and you are low on finances, then I suggest you invest time learning from others and doing it yourself. When I wrote and self published my book The Craigslist Hustle I didn’t have a clue as to what was needed to get it out into the market place. So, I spent a lot of time on Google and YouTube learning from other self published authors, as well as learning how to use Photoshop and other computer programs so I could bring the EBook to the marketplace. Once the EBook became a success, I went back and learned what was needed to bring the book to print. If your business offers a service or product and you are short on time, then I suggest you barter in exchange for someone else doing the things you are not familiar with in the beginning to get your business off the ground. Craigslist is a great place to find talented graphic designers, publishers, lawyers, and others who would be willing to barter their services in exchange for your services or product. I hope this has motivated you the reader to pursue that business that you’ve always wanted to pursue and I look forward to reading your success story in the near future!"
To learn more please check out his site: mrcraigslisthustle.com
4)
Julie Busha
Founder
Slawsa Gourmet Topping
"1. Be financially prepared. Starting a business is a very daunting task as many people find it difficult to take that leap of faith in leaving a secure job with benefits for one that is truly unknown. While some companies can grow slowly as a "second job," others will require "all-in" efforts. If you don't have complete control of your financial life before you decide to start your business, you will find that you're not able to throw your whole self into your new business. Be financially prepared to not take a salary for a few years if needed and know what impact that will have on your life. Be prepared to not take those vacations or enjoy those weekends with family. Remember, greatness does not come without sacrifice and while most people will never understand the feeling that sort of sacrifice, it's the entrepreneur that loves their life the most because, regardless of those sacrifices, they wake up every day to make this one better than the last in growing their business.
2. Be the jack of all trades. One thing I've been very proud of is the fact that I can write press releases, balance the books, update our web site, handle logistics of orders, be active on social media and pitch to retailers all in one day. Many people consider themselves good at a few things but weak in others. If you're starting out on your own and cannot be reliant on support from others in areas where you are weak, you're at a huge disadvantage. Even if you can delegate later, you have to know your business inside and out and perform all tasks associated within. In the beginning, you'll probably have to do everything on your own anyway. You'll find that as you grow your business, you'll be met at some point with empty promises from people who say they will, but ultimately won't…then it becomes yours to fix. Never say you "can't" do something because you're not good at it. Simply learn how to do it and do it. There is no excuse for you not being able to perform any task associated with growing your business."
To learn more about Ms. Busha's secret sauce - please check out: slawsa.com
5)
Max Teitelbaum
Co-Founder
What Runs Where
"Just jump in. The biggest thing that holds people back is fear. Fear of
failing, fear of losing something or even just fear of trying. The best
way to get started is to get your hands dirty."
failing, fear of losing something or even just fear of trying. The best
way to get started is to get your hands dirty."
6)
Aaron Kahlow
CEO & Founder
Online Marketing Institute
"Simply stay focused on building a great product first. Then properly marketing that product. Then building the team to grow. In that order exactly, otherwise, failure looms".
To learn more please visit: onlinemarketinginstitute.org
7)
Amy Schmittauer
Savvy Sexy Social Blog
Vlog Boss Studios
"Live for the no. Learn why. Move on. If you're going to think about quitting every time you get turned down you're never going to make it. And for every no you get, you're closer to the most fulfilling and wonderful yes yet."
To learn more about Ms. Schmittauer please visit: savvysexysocial.com
8)
COREY POIRIER
“Don’t go into a business you’re not passionate about. Operating a
business won’t be easy and you will encounter many challenges along the way.
After interviewing over 2500 high achievers and discussing the importance of
passion, I’ve rarely encountered a leader / business person who has achieved
astounding success in any field or area of business they are not passionate
about. If you’re passionate about the business, you’re more likely to stick
with it during the lows, and to make the most of the highs. I would also add
that you should be willing to fail, and to make mistakes (as there is no better
way to learn and grow then in the trenches), to invest time and money in
personal and professional development, to select and learn from the right
mentors, and to become and remain completed focused on whatever task you’re
working on at a specific time.”
Please learn more about Mr. Poirer by checking out one or both of his sites: conversationswithpassion.com or coreypoirier.com
9)
Robin Hallett
Intuitive Healer, Rock Star Reader,
Creator of Sacred Bling
Intuitive Healer, Rock Star Reader,
Creator of Sacred Bling
"Self care is my #1 tip for Entrepreneurs who want to rock their business like they really mean it. You and your needs are the priority - NOT the business, NOT the soon-to-be-clients. YOU are the priority. Your body is the only container you’ve got for all that creative juice.
We’ve become masters at ignoring what matters most. Important things like feelings, and the physical needs of our very own bodies. We blow ourselves off usually because we feel stressed and pressed. Because there are Really Important Things you need to do and you don’t have time. I know. I hear this a lot from Awkwardpreneurs (read, entrepreneurs who are NOT rocking it like they mean it).
My philosophy: Taking breaks for meditation, exercise, and proper diet aren’t options, they’re musts.
These practices make up the fuel that help us rock our work like we really mean it."
Please check out her website: robinhallett.com
10)
Mitch Joel
President
Twist Image
Twist Image
"If you're looking to get started in any business, learn that business
inside and out. Thankfully, the Internet is here to help. Set-up Google
Alerts for everything related to that industry: key terms, key leaders,
key clients and more. Subscribe to any
and all relevant industry trade publications – this includes the
physical magazines as well as e-newsletters and more. Read every book on
the subject that you can find. In short: become an info-vore. Love it
more than your competitors. Love it more than anyone.
Then, once you're eyeballs deep in it, start blogging. Start doing the
hard work and critical thinking about what needs to change in the
industry and what your perspectives are. Pushing that further, attend
all industry events and (better than that) get active
in your industry." -
Please learn more about Mr. Joel's business check out his site: twistimage.com/en
10)
Jim Palmer
The Newsletter Guru
"Follow the
Money
Successful
entrepreneurs know the importance of following the money. When their customers
ask for something,
these entrepreneurs find a way to supply their customers with whatever they
want. That’s what
following the money is all about—go where the money leads. After all, you’re in
business to make a profit.
Successful
businesses continue to expand their offerings. They continue to follow the
money. Since it’s easiest to
sell to your top customers—the hyper-responsive ones—that should be your focus
as you follow the
money.
Become
intimately familiar with his or her customer list. To begin with, you should
not only identify your top 20%, you
should also segment your list by identifying the top 10%, top 5%, and even your
top 2 %.Your top 2
to 5% of customers are not your typical customer. They should receive different
marketing messages and
even different offers than the typical customer. If your goal is to sell as
much as possible and achieve
the highest possible profits (and that’s a worthy goal), this can be made much
easier by selling to
your repeat customers in unique and different ways.
If you’re
not exactly sure which products or services can be profitably added to your
arsenal, here’s a very easy
way to find out: Ask! Go back to your customer list and focus on your top
customers. Create a survey to
bounce your ideas off them, and measure the responses. It can be as easy as
listing your ideas with a one
to ten scale, and have them rate how likely (or unlikely) they’d be to buy or
use it.Your current
customers are the ones most likely to buy from you again. Find ways to sell
more to them.
Follow the
money: Find out what else your customers want to buy and find ways to provide
it for them.
Please check out Mr. Palmers site at: thenewsletterguru.com
Please learn more about Mr. Joel's business check out his site: twistimage.com/en
10)
Jim Palmer
The Newsletter Guru
"Follow the
Money
Successful
entrepreneurs know the importance of following the money. When their customers
ask for something,
these entrepreneurs find a way to supply their customers with whatever they
want. That’s what
following the money is all about—go where the money leads. After all, you’re in
business to make a profit.
Successful
businesses continue to expand their offerings. They continue to follow the
money. Since it’s easiest to
sell to your top customers—the hyper-responsive ones—that should be your focus
as you follow the
money.
Become
intimately familiar with his or her customer list. To begin with, you should
not only identify your top 20%, you
should also segment your list by identifying the top 10%, top 5%, and even your
top 2 %.Your top 2
to 5% of customers are not your typical customer. They should receive different
marketing messages and
even different offers than the typical customer. If your goal is to sell as
much as possible and achieve
the highest possible profits (and that’s a worthy goal), this can be made much
easier by selling to
your repeat customers in unique and different ways.
If you’re
not exactly sure which products or services can be profitably added to your
arsenal, here’s a very easy
way to find out: Ask! Go back to your customer list and focus on your top
customers. Create a survey to
bounce your ideas off them, and measure the responses. It can be as easy as
listing your ideas with a one
to ten scale, and have them rate how likely (or unlikely) they’d be to buy or
use it.Your current
customers are the ones most likely to buy from you again. Find ways to sell
more to them.
Follow the
money: Find out what else your customers want to buy and find ways to provide
it for them.
Please check out Mr. Palmers site at: thenewsletterguru.com
Please check out Mr. Palmers site at: thenewsletterguru.com
11)
Dane Maxwell
Founder
The Foundation.io
"The smartest thing anyone can do is get out of their realm of expertise and knowledge. Don't go with what you know. Get out of that. Go into markets blind and Find The Pain. If you make your business about finding pain, you can then put experts in place to solve that pain and take a cut. The smartest businessmen in the world do just this. MindValley, Appsumo, etc. We don't believe in being experts at subject matter at The Foundation. We believe in being the experts at finding pain, clearly defining it, and then putting experts in place to solve that pain.
If you do anything, Find The Pain. Don't focus on being
an expert. You'll live a much more free life. Who wants to spend years
becoming an expert at something, when you can launch a business in weeks
using this method? I've launched multi-million dollar companies like
PaperlessPipeline using this method. I just Find The Pain in markets,
and put experts in place to create products around that pain"
To learn more about Mr. Maxwell please check out: thefoundation.com
To learn more about Mr. Maxwell please check out: thefoundation.com
12)
Laura Betterly
Founder
Yada Yada Marketing
To learn more about Ms. Betterly - yadayadamarketing.com
14)
Jeremy Frandsen
Co-Founder
Internet Business Mastery Podcast
Jeremy Frandsen is Co-Founder and Co-Host of the Internet Business Mastery* learn more about the podcast here: internetbusinessmastery.com
Nick Peall
Internet Marketer
Public Speaker
"You must be willing to make mistakes daily and find the lessons in
each of them. Some people remain paralysed in the research phase of
their business because they're afraid of failing. But failure is
something that happens a lot when you're in business so you just gotta
expect it and make the most of it. Nobody has success overnight with
their first idea, it takes years of trying and failing before the
winning formula is found.
The other piece of advice would be don't confuse
activity for action. Some people are spending their time appearing to be
working, but not getting an real results from it. You must be able to
identify what the core tasks are then delegate the rest. Reading and
networking and researching are valuable, but if they are not producing
profits each week you have to focus on the main task that will generate
cash flow."
To learn more about Mr. Peall please check out his site: nickpeall.com*on a personal note I've been listening to Jeremy and his partner Jason since shortly after the launch of their podcast and it's an honor to feature them here.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
(TOT) Thought on Thursday - Take that risk
Last week I had some extra free time on my hands and I spent much of it coaxing myself into scary and/or risky situations. Although it's 4:00 AM as I type this I still have a smile on my face because the risk taking has paid dividends.
As a result of some of the risks I took - i.e. Cold calls. - I have:
Now granted, one of these individuals is a relative but, with that being said - I have the opportunity to meet with yet another individual I hold in high esteem in the next several days who hangs out in the C-Suite of the company he helped build.
It's so funny how risk adverse we are when what we consider risky would have likely been shrugged off by our ancestors.
I can only imagine what my ancestors - who were slaves - would have thought if I told them that the only thing between me living like a slave and living like a master was talking to a bunch of people I don't know and enduring a difficult conversation or two.
I cannot fathom to deal with what they had to deal with or for that matter what man's prehistoric ancestors had to deal with when their biggest concern was
"Will I get eaten by a Saber Tooth Tiger Today?"
And not
"Will someone use a 4-letter word to describe me because I interrupted their day?"
It's laughable how we describe risk today and for that reason - if I have time today (after I take a nap) I will be making some cold calls.
As a result of some of the risks I took - i.e. Cold calls. - I have:
- Sat down for coffee/water/lunch with 3 wealthy individuals.
- Found what one wealthy individual would pay $100,000 for.
- Gotten advice on where to direct my energy from another wealthy individual.
- Gotten an offer of possible funding of business ideas from another.
- Found a possible untapped need in a market - that I'm testing out.
Now granted, one of these individuals is a relative but, with that being said - I have the opportunity to meet with yet another individual I hold in high esteem in the next several days who hangs out in the C-Suite of the company he helped build.
It's so funny how risk adverse we are when what we consider risky would have likely been shrugged off by our ancestors.
I can only imagine what my ancestors - who were slaves - would have thought if I told them that the only thing between me living like a slave and living like a master was talking to a bunch of people I don't know and enduring a difficult conversation or two.
I cannot fathom to deal with what they had to deal with or for that matter what man's prehistoric ancestors had to deal with when their biggest concern was
"Will I get eaten by a Saber Tooth Tiger Today?"
And not
"Will someone use a 4-letter word to describe me because I interrupted their day?"
It's laughable how we describe risk today and for that reason - if I have time today (after I take a nap) I will be making some cold calls.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
New Direction for Motivating Minutes
In the next few weeks - you may notice some changes with this blog - Motivating Minutes.
In particular we'll be featuring some new monthly columnists that focus on the areas of improving the MIND, BODY, SOUL & peoples MONEY.
I'm excited about it and I hope you are too!
In particular we'll be featuring some new monthly columnists that focus on the areas of improving the MIND, BODY, SOUL & peoples MONEY.
I'm excited about it and I hope you are too!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Thursday, September 12, 2013
(TOT) Thought on Thursday - Facing a Quarter Life Crisis - By Keith Dodge
Today we are lucky enough to have a guest post provided by fellow blogger Keith Dodge. Keith writes the movie blog - Oscarology. You may notice he is much more talented writer than I. If you're in your late 20's or early 30's you may be struggling with a Quarter life crisis. Keith's post explores exactly why you should NOT panic!
-Dee
Celebrating the “Now What?” feeling
By: Keith Dodge
You are 28
years old. You have:
Learned to
walk
You have
graduated preschool, kindergarten, grade school, middle school, and high school
(with
honors)
You were in
lots of sports, plays, clubs, scout troops, and church groups, and you did all
that
community
service everyone wanted you to do.
You learned
to drive a car and didn’t kill anyone.
You did that
stuff so you could apply for lots of scholarships and get into a good college.
You were
accepted to that good (great) college.
You partied
your ass off.
You
graduated.
You got a
job.
You moved
out on your own to a new city.
You met the one.
You got
married.
You bought a
house.
You’re
working on having kids, or already have a few.
NOW WHAT?
The “Now What” feeling can be scary. You can
suddenly feel unsatisfied, unfulfilled. You’ve been grinding it out, day by
day, minute by minute, working toward becoming an adult. And suddenly, you are one. You
have been coloring, counting, studying, working on group projects, taking
tests, applying,
proofreading
and planning your wedding since 1989. 24 years. You were promoted from baby to
child, appointed to
teen and elected as chairman of young adulthood. However, you are now
officially retired from growing
up. Technically, you have nowhere else you have to be; there are no more boxes
to check off. You
suddenly realize that you aren’t getting graded anymore. Well, you’re getting
performance reviews at
work maybe, but not grades. In hindsight, you can see the glittering path of
achievement and all the
hallmarks of an upper middle class hardworking Midwestern upbringing in your
rearview mirror.
You’ve been
driving for hours and you’re here. Now what are you supposed to do with the
next 60 year of your
life? Whatever you want, right? That’s what they say. But, what do you want?
You’re not
really sure.
You have
everything you think you wanted. Still, you’re not feeling fulfilled. You begin
to wonder exactly how this can possibly be; you have done everything you were
told to do, and you didn’t smoke crack or end up in prison. You have all of
your teeth, and you’re not a hoarder or a crystal meth addict, so you most
certainly have a high score in the Game of Life, which, by the way, is nothing
like you anticipated as a kid when you spun that multicolored wheel and ended
up with a pink and a blue stick baby in a car headed for a hollow white mansion
on a broccoli lump of green plastic.
You need a
barometer for adult life. Where are the teacher comments? Am I getting a red
check mark in “drinks one
shot too many and ends up puking at most get-togethers?” Am I getting a plus in
“maintains a remarkable
level of swag for the low level of their paycheck?” Who is the teacher now
anyway?
Wherein, you
suddenly turn an unflattering, sickly shade of green envy. Although you are absolutely unable to go
more than five minutes without checking in, liking, or hashtagging, social
media turns on you quickly,
because suddenly, you develop an acute case of Facebook Fatigue or LinkedIn
Leprosy.
If you have
spent 30 minutes or more scrolling through a “People you may know” section and instantaneously
developed a crippling sense of panic and failure, you may have LinkedIn
Leprosy. Ask your doctor
if hysterical crying and a Dairy Queen Blizzard are right for you.
I mean, shut
the front door! Am I right? The girl who was that girl almost every single night is now an Account
Executive at a big name PR firm in Chicago? The dude that always had slobber
dribbling down his chin is
now a District Sales Manager? And you, the one who always beamed with
self-righteous pride at awards
assemblies, the one whose description of their favorite vacation to Myrtle
Beach was always put up on
the overhead as an example of outstanding descriptive writing, are a lowly
customer service representative?
Thus,
depression, self-loathing, paranoia and anxiety settle in for a long winter’s
nap. You put your past under the
microscope and scrutinize your every move, as if Kirk Herbstreit was taking an
invisible yellow marker to
your formative years and pointing out you zigged on that play where you should
have zagged.
I have been
there. I have done this. And I’m here to tell you that this is no way to be.
You need to take a deep breath
and not be so hard on yourself. You need to tell yourself over and over (and
probably over and over a
few more times) that you have not failed. You haven’t even started. You are
finally on your life’s
journey, after all of that hard work, and it’s just beginning. You may have 4-5
years of work history under your
belt, but guess what? There’s at least 35 more. Here’s some perspective for
you: you have more time
left to work than you have even been alive. That kind of sucks. Then again, it
doesn’t.
You worked
for more than 20 years to get here. You trudged through multiplication,
bullies, detention, leaving your
back pack at home, being dumped at Homecoming, forgetting black socks for band,overdrawing
your bank account, hanging up on angry calls from the US Department of
Education, and now, it is your time.
What do you think? Have you faced a 1/4, 1/3 or Mid-Life crisis yet?
Now is when you will decide what you truly want in your
life. Now is the time to chase your wuh-wildest and craziest dream, kid. You now
have everything you need, and you have arrived. You still have your whole life
before you, and unlike when people used to say that to you, you’re actually in
the LIFE part now. You don’t have anywhere to be but where you want to go. You
are giving yourself your own grade. You are only failing if you’re not really
who you want to be. And you hate failing. So go out and be who you always
wanted to be. Use that jealousy and do something with it. Lose that weight. Get
a new job. Get close to God again. Write that blog. Date that girl or guy.
Move.
Celebrate the “Now What” feeling. Realize that you have arrived at
your first destination, and start your course towards a new one. Don’t look
back. Look forward. The “Now What” feeling is nothing to be afraid of. It
is a realization that you have completed one chapter, one level, and you're
ready to start working on the next. People used to ask you, “What do you want
to be when you grow up?” The exciting part is that you don’t have to wait until
“when.” When is now. Now you can begin working on the “what do you want to be?”
part of life.
What do you think? Have you faced a 1/4, 1/3 or Mid-Life crisis yet?
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