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Tuesday, March 17, 2015

30 things (about 2015) I would've been shocked by 30 years ago....

So the other night I happened to go to Dave & Busters and one of the games I played was Galaga. It had been a while since I played and that got to me thinking about the first time I played Galaga (released in 1981).   It had to have been about 30 years ago - maybe 1985 or earlier. This got me thinking what it would be like to attempt to explain the world today to my 6 year old self. Here's my attempt to explain 30 things that 6-year old me might need an explanation for: 

1.In the future you'll be able to play Galaga on a super-small computer/phone/camera/boom box. 

2. To clarify, in the future, everyone will have a mini-super computer in their pocket that will double as boom-box, a camera and a telephone. However, headphones you can connect to this super-computer will still be huge.

Image result for computers in 1985  Sharpminiorgan2

3. In the future, instead of rap music being an underground form of music only listened to by black people - EVERYONE (to a degree) will be into rap and it will be very popular, so popular that a skinny white woman from Australia will be (debate-ably) the reigning rap queen.

3. Speaking of, in the future Queen Latifah (who you've never heard of since it's 1985 but will hear of in 1988 trust me) - will be momentarily be a daytime talk-show host after an illustrious rap career. Yes it will happen. 

4. L.L.Cool J will become an actor - playing of all things a cop on TV. In fact Ice-T will play a cop on TV too...I am not kidding.

Image result for 1985 rap concert

5. In the future, everyone who wants to be on TV will be able to be on TV - and even a lot of people who don't want to be. 

6. In the future the Soviet Union will collapse and we'll be friends and simply call the country Russia. Then after about 20 years or so after being friends someone will shoot down a plane-ful of innocent people and we'll pick up right where we left off being enemies again.


7. In the future we still won't have peace in the middle east. (sigh)

8. In the future we will have really big & really flat TVs

9. In the future, they will take every great movie from the 1980's and make it over with better special effects but, most of them will suck

10. In the future Phil Donahue will be replaced by a black girl named Oprah and many women in America and beyond will look up to her. She will also become the first billionaire TV host. Yes that's billionaire with a "B".

 11.  In the future, Ice-cube that hard-core rapper out of the west will do kids movies. 

13. In the future, you'll be able to use the phone anywhere and I mean anywhere as long as there is something called a "cell phone tower" nearby. No cords to hold onto. (Again this is the mini-super computer - it will be a big part of life).

14. In the future - there will be flying cars but no one will be able to afford them or figure out where to park them yet. 


15. In the future - people will be much more excited about electric cars

16. In the future, Michael Jackson will change races and marry Elvis Presley's daughter

17. In the future, there will be a black president...OK, really he's mixed, which in 1985 just means he's black. 

Image result for jesse jackson 1984 campaign stickers 

18. In the future, if you have a really cool idea you can go on a TV show called Shark Tank and get thousands or Millions of dollars for it. 

19. In the future, Arnold Schwarzenegger - The Terminator/Conan the Barbarian guy will become governor of, I'm serious. 


20.  In the future some vitamins will be able to be turned into gummie bears - yes it will be awesome. 


21. In the future there will be robot cashiers at grocery stores - but it won't be as awesome as it sounds: 

 22. In the future, parents will be so scared by the news that you'll have to schedule "playdates" instead of just going across the street to the neighbors and asking Mrs. Avery if Jarrod and his brother can come out and play. 


23. In the future you'll be able to have a computer in your car but, it won't be as cool as Kit from Knight Rider. Close but, still not as cool. 

24. In the future you'll be able to print food. No really. 


25. In the future you will be able to practice jumping off a bridge to your death and then being saved at the last minute - people will do this for fun. 


26. In the future they'll be really close to having a computer do the driving for you. Again, not as cool as Kit.
27. In the future you'll be able to make a lot of money by doing absolutely nothing but being semi- articulate and creating drama in front of a camera - this will be called Reality TV. Similar to the Sally Jesse Raphael Show but different at the same time because there's no live studio audience. 


28. In the future, people...lots of people will pay money for filtered  tap water rather than drink it from the faucet. No, I'm serious. 

29. In the future there will be this incredible thing called the internet that changes the world as we know it. Kind of like Skynet but not as evil - most days.  No one will really mail letters anymore except for at Christmas & your Birthday because there will be this thing called email where you can get on your mini-super computer/phone/boombox/camera and communicate with anyone who also has a mini super computer which will be most people. It will be an incredible time but unfortunately there will still be people who want to hurt each other just because they like to pronounce tomato differently  or because they go to a different type of church

30. In the future most arcades will be closed down because you can play video games at home with your friends while they're at home - I know it sounds impossible. On top of that the arcades that are still open will be awesome and have 3-D games much cooler than today but usually there will be an old-school (because you'll be old then) version of Pac-Man or Galaga or both so the adults can reminisce on when they were young.

Now for those born in the 1980's I know I missed a bunch of things that have improved/changed since the 1980's. If you're willing share what else has changed for the better or worse since the 1980's please do so in the comments. Thanks!


  1. I would add a few things... Kids will not have to walk home from school because they can instantly communicate with their parents and get picked up. They will not have library cards anymore and they cannot lie about their report cards because parents can see current information on their computer. Their will be no chalkboards. When they go on a trip they will be able to watch movies in the back and mom/dad will have directions broadcast to them via the minicomputer.

  2. When people travel they will need to pay for food, luggage they bring and legroom. When they stay in a hotel room there will be no hotel keys and if they go to Vegas there will be no gambling chips just plastic cards. People will not send cards but will be able to share video and photos instantly. If people meet for coffee, they may pay $3-$7 per cup.